I love Tina Fey

one time, she punched me in the face. it was awesome


JF: “Hi, I’m Jeanne Fey.”
GF: “And I’m Gloria Fallon. Here our tonight’s top stores about our 
JF: “Actor Jimmy Fallon will appear in Band of Brothers, an HBO drama 
about a World War Two. A source close to Fallon says “Good, maybe they will make him cut that crazy hair.” In a related story, the movie is directed by Tom Hanks who is now a ersonal friend of Jimmy’s. He even calls our house all the time. Back to you Jeanne.”

JF: “Actress Tina Fey appeared in the April 7th issue of TV Guide, and 
magazine was not available in the Philadelphia area, because I bought 
all and kept them in my kitchen.”
GF: “And now to a segment, we call “That’s My Baby”.”
GF: This is Jimmy when he is nine years old. I always knew he would be 
an actor because he would put on his C3PO pajamas and sing all the songs from Annie.”

(Jimmy comes out) Jimmy: “Mom, what are you saying?”
GF: “What.”
JF: “This is Tina when she was six months old. As you can see when she 
very little she only had one eyebrow.”

(Tina comes out) Tina: “Mom, nobody wants to see that.
JF: “Why? It’s so cute. You were a nice, hairy, Greek baby.”
Jimmy: “You guys are supposed to be doing the news.”
GF: “We are. Jimmy, this is so easy. I don’t see why you flub your 
lines all the time. Do you know they have them written on those big cards up 
Jimmy: “Yeah, Yeah, I see them.”
GF: “Just read the cards.”

Jimmy: “I do, I do, I do read the cards.”
Tina: “I think he needs glasses.”
Jimmy : “I don’t need glasses.”
GF: “Jimmy, just get the glasses.”
Jimmy: “I don’t need glasses.”
JF: “If you need glasses, get them.”
Jimmy: “I don’t need glasses.”
Tina: “Yeah you do need glasses, but the point is you can’t just do news 
about us.
GF: “Just look at this face, look at this baby face.” (holding Jimmy’s 
JF: (hugging Tina) “From these loins, a mother’s angel. Say my favorite 
Tina: “For Weekend Update, I’m Tina Fey.”
Jimmy: “And I’m Jimmy Fallon, saying Happy Mother’s Day.”
Both: “And we love our mommies!” 

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